How do you ride the wave?
We have unexpected ups a downs in life. It’s a certainty that they’ll happen; it’s just up to us to determine how we ebb and flow with them.
Last week I was away on a pairing and my first day in, I somehow dropped my phone when I got off the plane in Punta Cana. Now up to this point, I overrode a lot of the little nudges from my guides that in hindsight would have helped to bring it home (or maybe not even lose it at all)
1) I was sick and wanted to book off, though made it about the money and showed up anyways. (fear base)
2) I saw my phone on the aircraft and thought that I should turn it off airplane mode, though didn’t listen for whatever reason which then made it untraceable.
3) I dropped my coat at the bottom of the steps on the tarmac and saw my phone fall out of my coat. I picked it up and thought I put it in my pocket, though didn’t pay full attention to if I actually did or not.
It was when I got on the crew bus that I discovered that my phone was not with me and quickly ran back into the airport to find it, yet it was nowhere to be seen.
I was overcome with grief because I had not backed up my phone and there went my contacts, my pictures of my travels including my 3 week holiday in Maui and all the other bits and bobs that I had saved in my phone, that really supported me.
I instantly felt sick to my stomach and at a loss for time (since I didn’t have a watch or anything else) and there were so many layers of grief that were coming up for me.
This little device that made my life so much easier, the simplest things that I took for granted. Knowing what time is was, being able to stay in touch with the rest of the world, capturing my world with the camera and revisiting my memories with my photos, the app which makes going through customs easier on the ground, having my boarding pass on my phone, listening to music and meditations and having my apps with my oracle cards to support me with ease. Not to mention a little thing called google maps that helps me to explore new areas with a sense of security knowing where I am at all times.
I put it out to the Universe that I would love for my phone to come back home, yet it still hasn’t found its way back to me and instead of surrendering I went into victim mode about how other people get miracles all the time but me. I blamed myself for not listening to my guidance and was really angry with myself. I was angry about all the stories that I had heard about lost items magically showing up without people knowing how, I was angry that this wasn’t me. I felt like a child throwing a tantrum in moments that it hit home for me. Very suiting to a 32 year old woman!
Luckily I was able to hop into gratitude and in between the moments of sulking, plus I was more curious than anything. What was the reason for this to happen? What am I being shown? How can I switch into gratitude and feel supported?
I spent 7 days across the globe without a phone and noticed all the ways I was supported. I am beyond grateful that I had an amazing crew by my side; even on my first day, one of my crew members lent me her watch and she had also asked my other crew members to call or knock on my door in the morning to wake me up… seriously, I work with some amazing people. The moments of stress around my business diminished as I was able to use computers in the hotels we went to. Everything I felt I needed to get done I was able to, just with a bit more exploring. I think it was also the first time I’ve asked for a map to go out in a city that I haven’t been to for a while. I had to ask people for directions in the street and felt like I was re-engaging with the world around me. I read a ton of books, and had plenty of time to work within my Akashic Records to really see all of the belief systems that were coming up to be released.
As much as I went through layers of grief (and am still holding onto a miracle that my Maui pics will be returned to me), life goes on and I have to too.
Now this to other people can be such a silly stupid thing to write about, when “there are bigger issues out there Richelle”, though this was a really big one to me.
It’s a way I get to communicate and engage with the world and not having it really showed me how much lately that I have wanted to hide behind that screen. It was another layer of seeing the excuses I make for my introverted self to say, “see this is why I can’t do this”, when in reality I just didn’t want to be seen.
Being seen and feeling safe has never been a stellar combo for me in the past. The less inconspicuous I am, the safer I am was my belief. At one point in my life that served me well, but now? Not at all. If anything it’s holding me back from sharing my gifts and saying Hi to the world.
Our learnings can come in beautiful packages wrapped and dressed up with a delicate trim, or through a boulder that comes crashing through the doorway, taking you out along the way. One may feel more pleasant, though can often go overlooked. While we don’t always get to choose how our lessons look or even know what’s around the corner to come, we do get to decide how we show up to them. When you see the wave forming in the ocean before you, do you opt to ride the wave or turn your back towards it and have it take you out?
Regardless of your choice, the wave will still be there. It’s up to you to decide exactly what you’re going to do.
All I know is this was that boulder moment for me, and I could no longer avoid looking at my excuses and all that’s come forward from this experience to be seen.